LARGE FONT JAKE FORMAT

So I'm writing this post in a large font. Because it's cool. Mallory isn't awesome.


I love that moment when the substitute "commends us" for being awesome. Because we are.


So anyway, the actual target of this post was actually going to be about how people make me mad. People that whine and complain about things about which they have no understanding. 


But I don't want to talk about that.


I want to talk about all the cool spaced I'm leaving between sentences.


It's kinda like the Facebook phenomenon know as "Jake Format", but for blogger. And it has a lot less swag. 


And that's all I feel like writing. 


Time to work on a Toxins PowerPoint.

Derparoni and Cheese

One day in the lollipop woods the polar ice caps were dancing upon the  queen bee's mother. Then once the ponies smelled the rainbow's war stank, the chipmunk bit a liar. "Ouch, you balloon faced idiot!" Soon, Marygold and hotdogman galumphed to saxomland carrying their potato skin weapons proudly. Suddenly, Golem discovered explosive hiccups inside his belly button ring. Marygold quickly slammed Golem onto the roses, moaning sonorously. Carefully, they clubbed the lion's backside with ease, while dancing sweet victory things into Ashley's Morridor. 

This story was written through the combined efforts of Leah, Mallory and I. We all took turns typing one word at a time, and this is the product. 

Testing and grades and general death.

We just got done with our two end of course tests we have to take this year. I think I did awesome on the English one, but I'm pretty sure I got a C on the algebra. I had no idea what was even going on. Which reminds me, we have a chemistry test today that I know I'm going to fail, simply because I have no idea how to do anything. Ma + Va = Mb + Vb. Wut.

And on top of all of this, I have

• Algebra essay response things for School of Rock
• World Civ study guide
• world civ posters and political cartoons and stuff
• English map test today
• English independent reading "cafe"

So I'm pretty swamped with end-of-the-year type testing and crazy expectations. 

Oh, and if I have two B's by the end of the year, my parents are considering taking away band. 

My mother is an upholstery beast.

My mother is a beast.

Not like this kind:

But this kind:

What you're seeing here was once a coffee table. My mother took two sheets of foam board and  covered it in an old blanket. It's insanely comfortable and awesome. She also strategically made it a little higher than the couch, so when your feet are on it they're slightly above you, which somehow makes it feel a lot better. IT HAS TWO LAYER'S OF FOAM BOARD FOR BLOGGER'S SAKE. IT'S MORE COMFORTABLE THAN MY BED.

She also left the bottom on, so she could eventually take off the red when she found something better. 

That's right. My mom is awesome.

Our bad.

So. I'd like to take this time to apologize for distracting any of you from from what I'm absolutely sure was unimaginably important and life changing work with our marching band music. Please, I beg for your forgiveness. If it was bothering you that bad, please just tell us next time. All of us have headphones, and Mallory even has an audio splitter. We could have listened to it privately.

The following images are completely unrelated.

OK, the last one is a little related.

Marching Band. I'm excite.

So I'm marching trombone next year. And I'll be section leader with Kaci. Yeah. See, marching band is divided into 5 sections:

1. Low Brass
2. Woodwinds
3. Percussion
4. Guard?
5. High Brass.

And since we'll be juniors next year and there won't be very many seniors, most of our grade will be section leaders. Observe:

1. Low Brass - Kaci Beard & I
2. Woodwinds - Mallory 
3. Percussion - Peyton (Melodic) & Hayden (Rhythmic)
4. Guard - Ashley (With Leah as her little assistant.)
5. High Brass - Micah

So yeah. We're going to beast it. So I'm sharing our section with Kaci and we're going to have around 6 or 7 people.

• Me of course
• Kaci
• Swilley
• Sara
• Jantzon? Croft
• Derp Kid
• Maybe somebody else I don't even know.

That's about it. I'm super excite. MAYBE IF PEOPLE AREN'T STUPID WE'LL MAKE IT TO STATE THIS YEAR.

Spring Break. Derp.

So I'm not going to write about Spring Break that much. Because it was weird.

My brothers and I stayed up until 6:30 Friday night. And then got up at 8 to go to Evansville to play mini-golf and laser tag and skeeball and stuff. It was pretty awesome. I'm pretty much going to bullcrap this entire post until I get 100 words.

Since I haven't got there yet, I'll go back in time a little and tell another story. The weekend starting spring break, Hannah decided that we were all going to the park. And Hannah made two certain people walk. To the park. For an hour. Ashley and I were actually looking at sticks to beat Hannah with. I wanted to destroy every vestige of her existence on the face of the planet. Like seriously. And then they arrived with the park and we ate pizza and I was fine again. For like two days and then it all went to crap. But that's not a story for a blog post. I'm pretty sure I have 100 words so I'm done here.

Glad to be back chillun.
Not really.